Tampering With the Mail
by UntoldStories113
Summary: …is a crime punishable by banishment. If you're found out, that is. (Monsters University spoilers)


**Timeline note:** Set during Mike and Sulley's time in the mail room.

**Dedication:** Dedicated to Ava-Kane because the original idea was hers. Hope you like where I went with this.

**General note:** I'm back! Sorry for the huge absence, but real life is crazy busy right now. Please note that this is "hot off the press," which means I might revise it during the next days, so don't be confused if things get changed around.

* * *

><p>Dear Mike, dear James,<p>

I hope this letter reaches you, and that you can find it among all the others. Mom said I shouldn't worry, and that there's no way my letter could get lost because it's your job to look at all the letters. I hope she's right.

I just thought it would be great if you could get your own letter for a change. It must be sad to give letters to so many people but never be able to read one for yourself. Personally, I'd feel unwanted if everyone but me got letters all the time, but you're not unwanted and you need to know that. Sorry for rambling, but I just felt as if I should explain.

We're all fine, but we told you that. The new semester is going really well so far, but we told you that, too. No new recruits, but we… well, I guess there's really no point to me writing at all, but I really, really wanted you to have something nice. Sorry if I disturbed your work. I'll call you tonight.

Your pal,  
>Scott<p>

* * *

><p>Hey Squishy,<p>

thank you for your letter! It was cool to suddenly find one addressed to us! Mike was getting all flustered and misty-eyed; you know which way I mean. Not that he'd admit it. And now he's demanding to know why I'm chuckling to myself while writing. Well, tough luck.

We're okay, too, but you know that. ;) And you didn't disturb us. Thanks for the nice surprise. In fact, I think it's kinda fun to have these separate conversations going on at the same time, so it was cool that you didn't say anything about this on the phone.

I'm writing this at home, though, but if we did it during work, it would be hard to cover up. Mr. Snowman is a little paranoid about damage to the mail and stuff. Sneaking out your letter was hard enough. But we'll see if we can do it during lunchtime next time so that we can send some actual "Monsters Inc. feeling" or something.

Say hi to the guys from us,  
>Sulley<p>

* * *

><p>Dear James, dear Mike,<p>

thank you for your letter! We still don't get mail, so everyone was excited! Art jumped around so much that he almost fell down the stairs. But don't worry, he's fine!

It's still lonely being on campus or eating dinner or building forts or studying Scares without you guys, but it's okay, we know you didn't leave because you didn't like us. We'll manage somehow.

And you know what, today one of the JOX guys… um, I think his name is George? Anyway, he said hi to us! That was really cool! Maybe we can be friends with the other fraternities and sororities one day after all!

I hope you had a nice day today. And the others send their love!

Your pal,  
>Scott<p>

* * *

><p>Hi Squishy,<p>

is this becoming a tradition now? I'm thrilled, here! Sorry for not writing last time, but I was busy with the mail distribution system. We almost lost your first letter because we sorted it into the appropriate place but couldn't find it anymore at closing time. What would we have done if we'd lost it? So I'm thinking that there must be a better way to organize the shelves. I'll keep you posted.

Anyway, it's good to hear that you're still working on your Scares. I'm proud of you, guys! Keep it up! And we might not be nearby anymore, but we ARE with you. Remember that. …wait, that sounds corny. But whatever, you know what I mean.

Sul tells me to say hi, so, hi from Sul. And from me. To all of you. Squishy, that includes your mom.

'til next time,  
>Mike<p>

PS: Oh, and sneaking out your letters got easier - we simply started bringing bags to work!  
>PPS: And yes, lunch break is over in five minutes.<p>

* * *

><p>Dear Mike,<p>

thank you for your letter! We're proud that you're proud of us. If that makes sense. Mom was also really happy that you said hi. I hope you two found the package she sent.

Every time Professor Knight praises us, I wish you could be there! He's really pleased with us! Now everyone can see that we belong in the program. It makes me really happy.

Have a pleasant day at work and something fun in the evening!

Your pal,  
>Scott<p>

—

Dear James,

thank you for saying hi! It meant a lot to us!

James, I don't know how to say it, but don't you think Mike is working too much? I didn't mean to increase his workload by writing to you two! Can't you make sure he relaxes in the evenings? Or maybe, well, you mentioned some beautiful woman who recently started working at Monsters Inc. and that Mike seems interested in her… couldn't you arrange something so that it will distract him from work?

But don't tell him we're worried. We know he hates worrying us.

Thank you for listening.

Your pal,  
>Scott<p>

* * *

><p>Hi Squishy,<p>

you shouldn't make Sul keep something away from me while I'm right across from him. Let me just tell you that there's no "progress" whatsoever between me and the receptionist. (Using that word even though it suggests that progress is something to be desired. But you get my point.) I'd appreciate it if you didn't plan my non-existent love life behind my ba

Hey Squishy,

I just took the pen from Mike and spent a few minutes watching him jump for the letter I was holding over his head until he gave up. He's not REALLY angry. Honestly, he isn't. I think it's about control. He hates losing control, you know he does, but whenever he looks at her, he kinda loses a few IQ points, and that bothers him. Sorry for letting him see what you wrote, though, but I couldn't help it. But don't worry, he still loves all of you. Please don't stop writing (or calling!) because of this. He's actually really touched that you're concerned for him.

I'm gonna send this anyway because it might be weird if Mike sounds angry and you lot don't get why.

Looking forward to your next letters!  
>Sulley<p>

PS: Please tell Mrs. Squibbles thanks for the bile tarts, they were delicious!

* * *

><p>Hey guys,<p>

getting in on the fun, here. We can't let Squish keep you all to himself, now, can we?

_And I can't let you keep the pen to yourself, either! Being an English major doesn't mean you get to write all our letters! I can write as we_

Sorry about that, guys. Terri, go back to Dancing.

_You'd have to come along, genius!_

Anyway, we told Squishy's mom that you liked her little treats, and she slipped into a rant about how much she misses you and how unfortunate it was that you had to leave so suddenly. I'd say you should come and visit soon.

Oh, and now we finally know what Mike kept apologizing about when we called you on Saturday. I can't believe you actually sent that off, Sul. He must have really annoyed you that day to deserve that kind of revenge. ;)

_Though I did think Squishy's idea was good. Sorry, Mike!_

Don says you could get in trouble for having private mail sent to Monsters Inc. because it could possibly distract you from working. But you're not in trouble, are you? If you are, please tell us and we'll send the next letter to your home address.

Anyway, have fun with this one!  
>Terry <em>&amp; Terri<em>

* * *

><p>Hey everyone,<p>

Sul wrote the last letter, sort of, so I guess it's my turn. Er, this is kinda awkward. Sorry for the rant, and Terry's right, I wasn't ACTUALLY gonna send that to you. Still, there's nothing going on between me and that woman, so please don't get any ideas.

Anyway, no, we're not in trouble, but we SHOULD be careful with what we do. Mr. Snowman suddenly vanished. We don't know where he's gone, but Mr. Waternoose himself came down to the mail room and told us we'd get a new boss next week, and that he'd trust us to perform our jobs to the best of our ability even without supervision for the next few days. It was a little weird, to be honest, especially because absolutely no one seems bothered. We didn't know him all that well, but still…

But your letters don't harm anyone, so I'd say we're good. And if anyone DOES find a letter, we'll claim it was the first one and that we didn't know you would write. So don't worry. And it's not as if we've never done anything illegal before. …please burn this after reading it.

Oh, and we'd LOVE to visit, but making time for that is difficult with vacation formalities and stuff. Maybe for one weekend or something. We'll do our best to find a good time.

Can't wait to hear from you again,  
>Mike<p>

* * *

><p>KEEP <strong>SORTIN'<strong> THOSE TROVES OF **MAIL**, GUYS, and to a _HAPPY REUNION_ here at **HOME** as SOON AS YOU CAN!

**HUGS** AND _LOVE_, ART

* * *

><p>Hey guys,<p>

I'm afraid Sul and I are gonna have to ask you to stop sending letters to the company. You're welcome to write to our home address, but you can't send them to Monsters Inc. anymore, for two reasons:

1) Thank you for your colorful letter, Art, we really appreciated it, but all the glitter rubbed off and smeared the entire room. We had huge trouble getting everything clean, and we didn't manage to get the stuff off all the letters before someone noticed. Fortunately, Mr. Waternoose bought it when I told him it was for Make Your Work Utensils Sparkly Day.

2) The more important reason is - we're not working in the mail room anymore! :) In other words, we probably wouldn't receive your letters anyway. Mr. Waternoose saw us clean up the room and was so pleased with our work that he promoted us to work on the janitorial team from now on. Funny how those things work out, huh?

Still, thank you for brightening our work; that was really great! Please do refrain from sending slime for us to clean up, though. Thanks.

Bye,  
>Mike (and Sul, of course)<p>

PS: And before I forget, Mr. Waternoose rewarded our hard cleaning work with a Friday off! Looks as if we found our visiting date! :) We'll call you about the details. See you soon!

* * *

><p><strong>Note:<strong> Fun fact – I didn't plan to set this at the end of their mail room days. That just kinda happened.

And as always, any kind of feedback is appreciated. Also, expect a Snapshots update within the week.


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